Washington DC (IP) - Our Washington reporter-on-the-scene has just learned that the United States was turned down for a credit card today due to its terrible credit score of negative 247. The U.S. had applied for a Capital Two card with a limit of $400.
The rejection letter stated that America, as the U.S., likes to be called, was badly over extended on its credit and was late in the payment of such things as soldier's pay checks and corporate welfare payments.
America may be forced to borrow money against Air Force One's title at a a local Car Loan Shark Shop. The interest rate there is about 269% compounded daily.
The result of a foreclosure on such a loan may force politicians to travel via hot air balloons. Everyone knows that there is an unlimited supply of fuel available for those.
Another solution to the problem that has been proposed is for politicians to hit the streets and airports and panhandle for spare change. "If its good enough for the Hare Krishna's why not for public servants?" asked Dick Cheney as he ate his peanut butter and jelly sandwich under the shade of a cherry tree just outside of the the underground bunker where he stays when he is not busy visiting Saudi Arabian royalty and Haliburton executives.