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Topics: Space

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for Perseid Meteor Sower Will Cause Great Damage

Mount Palomar, California (IP) - The Perseid meteor shower will occur this year and will peak between August the 10th and the 13th. It promises to be a better show than usual because the Moon is in its new phase on those days. The center of the radiant point of the shower appears to radiate from the constellation Perseus which rises in the northeast at about 11:00 pm this time of the year. The later you stay up the more meteors will be visible.

You do not have to know how to find Perseus to enjoy the shower. Just look northeast and laying on a lawn chair and looking up will net you some meteors if you can last 15 minutes or more. This might not prove as easy as it sounds with today's short attention span and urban light pollution. All of this is actually true no matter what time of the night you go out.

Unfortunately this year's meteor shower is going to cause great damage to places like Washington DC, Detroit, Los Angeles, and Miami. It is not the meteors that will cause the damage but rather the drive by shootings that residents of those cities will experience on those nights.

Surely if the shootings coincide with or occur right after the shower than there must be some connection.

Residents in those cities are urged to leave the urban areas they reside in and move to the country (not near me, please). The only danger there is having people shunning you, calling you names, or possibly getting hit in the head by the litter that country folks love to toss out of their car windows onto the roadsides. And make sure not to trip over the cardboard ten commandment signs that they post on their lawns. Well, anyway it sure beats getting shot by some cowardly punk with an AK-47.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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