Written by Andrew Lawrence
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Topics: Armageddon

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

image for World To End On Monday

(Las Vegas) - According to well known Las Vegas odds maker, Ivantu Gamble, the world will end on Monday.

"All the signs are there for the end of the human race," says Ivantu. "Global warming, fossil fuel depletion, war, real estate over development, environmental disasters, gluttony, greed, cigarette smoking, drugs, celebrity DUI's, genocide, war, $400 haircuts, overspending by Congress, and breast implants (OK, maybe not breast implants).

When asked why the world will end on Monday as opposed to another day of the week, Gamble responded, "I calculated it based on astrology, numerology, archeology, psychology, theology and proctology. Then I flipped a coin".

A spokesperson for the 4-Day Workweek Assn said, "Nobody likes to go to work on Monday. If the world is going to end on Monday you needn't bother to go to work on Monday; you could take Monday off and make it a long weekend."

The odds of the world ending on a Monday are 1 in 7.

copyright 2007 Andrew Lawrence

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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