Written by Evan Essence
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Topics: Dick Cheney, bridge

Monday, 6 August 2007

image for Cheney: No Money Available to Repair America's Bridges
The irony is, this thing blows bridges up

Following this week's staggering bridge collapse in Minneapolis, Federal Officials acknowledged that 70,000 other bridges in the US are "structurally deficient", and are likely to result in similar disasters. However, on Friday, Dick Cheney...after telling George Bush to keep his mouth shut...said there is no more money in the national treasury for domestic emergencies.

Cheney said, "the ongoing war against Islamofascists is consuming every available Federal Dollar. During time of war, we must be prepared to make domestic sacrifices."

"We already spent billions of dollars in aide, after the collapse of the levee in New Orleans, and that's all we are going to do, as far as being do-gooders," Cheney added.

A Pentagon spokesman said the War in Iraq is costing $1.2 trillion dollars, and it is likely to become more expensive, since the more we attack the terrorists, the more belligerent they become. When asked what the point of attacking the terrorists is, if it has just caused global terrorism to triple, over the last 2 years, he replied, "We have to show that we are tough on the terrorists. For every terrorist we kill, 3 more emerge, so we must keep fighting ever harder. This war will go on forever, so we must not grow weary. We are lucky that we have a company like Haliburton willing to soak up those defense department contracts that nobody else wants..."

Editors note: Evan Essence received his Masters Degree in Journalism (2003), and his PhD in Political Science (2004) from House-of-Spam Internet Marketing

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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