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Saturday, 21 July 2007

image for Al Gore Won't Run - He Might Actually Win

Bosstown, MA (IP UP WE All P) - An interview with Al Gore while he was intoxicated revealed some disturbing truths that could land him in hot water with the powers that really run things.

First he stated that he was supposed to lose his run for the White House from the get-go. That is why he chose a Jewish running mate. It was well known that there are strongholds of racism in the United States like the mid-west and the south where the majority of voters are not yet ready to elect a Jew, black, nor a female candidate. This is also why the Republicans will win the next presidential election.

He also said that he rolled over and played dead (like John Kerry) after Bush stole the election thanks to voting irregularities in Florida and elsewhere.

The corporate handlers that dictate the outcome of elections involve powerful oil corporations and members of the military industrial complex which is a phrase coined by Republican President Dwight D. Eisenhower. John F. Kennedy had defied these dangerous mega-institutions and had paid with his life.

Gore indicated that he could easily win the next election with his hands tied behind his back and only one eye open and that is exactly why he won't run. He said the Republicans had bungled things so badly that a truly viable candidate from the opposing party could win in a landslide. Hilary and Obama are definitely not viable candidates and by running for office they are simply maintaining the status quo. He finished by saying that in reality Democrats are not much different from Republicans and are merely the other side of the same coin and their candidates would continue to subvert the will of the people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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