Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 17 July 2007

image for Ron Paul Receives More Political Endorsements
Ron Paul smiles in remembrance of "all the pussies I've had to deal with."

Republican Candidate for the U.S. Presidency Ron Paul received several more endorsements today from various political and non political groups. Paul is running on the Republican ticket and is currently a member of the House of Representatives in his tenth term. He once, however, ran for president on the Libertarian ticket, placing a distant third behind George H.W. Bush and Michael Dukakis.

Before entering politics, Ron was Dr. Paul and delivered approximately 4000 babies during his years as an Ob/Gyn.

The following groups have endorsed Paul:

Hugh Hefner and Playboy Enterprises: Said one Miss July, "If you are going to be in office, you're going to get to deal with lots of pussies. Just ask Bill Clinton. Ron Paul knows pussy!"

The Ku Klux Klan: "We've read his racist comments about blacks and that he supports a ban on gay marriage. We like him for that, and also the fact that he's probably seen more poontang than any man running for the office since JFK."

Cal Jennings: "If you vote fer Ron, I might let you have a go at my sister. If he wins and gets millions of votes, it may just keep her busy fer a while and away from the herd." Note: Mr. Jennings is a comedy and political writer from West By God Virginia.

John Kerry: "He flip flops parties almost as much as I flip flop on issues. He helped get Reagan in office as a Republican, then he ran against his Vice President as a Libertarian, and now he's running as a Republican again. I just have to admire that! Oh, one other thing: like me, he's also got two first names!"

The John Birch Society: "Yes, we like him. If you've got a problem with that, we'll have to shoot you, you un-American pinko commie jew lovin' bastard."

The Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company: "We've been providing Goodyear blimp sized condoms to almost every Texan (except the Bush family) since LBJ falsified numbers to win his first election. We'd love to see another Texan try to screw the competition (we're not called the Goodyear Tire and Rubber Company for nothing!)."

The Large, Tall, Untalented Cross Dressers of America: "Ron Paul? We thought you said RuPaul. Is this just his/her stage name? No? Never mind."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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