Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 1 July 2007

image for Ann Coulter to undergo surgery to have foot removed from mouth; GOP speechless
Ann Coulter in surgery to have foot removed from mouth that may leave GOP speechless

Washington, D.C. - The outspoken conservative columnist, Ann Coulter, was unexpectedly rushed to the hospital early this morning when she woke up to find her foot was still stuck in her mouth and could not remove it. She was discovered in her bed this morning still struggling to remove it after speaking at a Republican fundraiser engagement last night.

"She put in her mouth like she always does," said her friend. "I mean that's what she's paid to do, right? So, no one really paid attention when she got it stuck there at last night's Republican dinner. It just does that sometimes."

She was right in the middle of another one of her off color jokes about 'John Edwards sexuality' and 'his dead kid' when suddenly, but expectedly, her left foot popped right into her mouth. It brought the house down.

Reportedly, there was no real cause for concern last night as she was able to continue with her hoisting activities and enjoying herself throughout the evening which included finishing up a three course meal, ballroom dancing and an after dinner cigar with the big boys in the smoky back room.

However, when she was found still struggling to pull her foot back out early this morning, every body knew something was seriously wrong and rushed her off to the hospital for emergency surgery to have it dislodged.

Conservatives are concerned they have may have permanently lost their chief spokesperson as Ann Coulter is scheduled to undergo an experimental operation which will save her life but may prevent her from ever being able to put her foot back into mouth ever again.

"We are worried that the operation will leave her without the ability to speak her mind in a way that has rendered her immune from negative consequences experienced by her liberal counterparts," said a close family Republican.

"On behalf of the GOP," continued the Republican. "I send my condolences to the family and wishes for a speedy recovery before the 2008 Presidential election."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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