Written by TedG63
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Topics: Iran, Pornography

Friday, 15 June 2007

image for Iran Orders Death to Porn Stars:  Screech in Hiding

On Wednesday Iran's parliament voted in favor of a bill that calls for the execution of all persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.

Later that day Screech announced he would be spending the rest of the summer in Mr. Belding's basement.

Other prominent entertainers and politicos commented on the Iranian parliament's action.

President Bush was outraged at the vote: "This takes away our fundamental freedom to jerk off while looking at two sorority sisters seduce the cable man. Freedom of masturbation is protected under our Constitution and I will not rest until a young boy in Tehran can whip it out and satisfy himself on the sidewalk outside the movie theater just like a young boy growing up in Midland could after seeing 'The Last Picture Show. '"

Domino's Pizza announced today that the hopes and dreams of thousands of their deliverymen were crushed by the Iranian parliament's decision.

Massachusetts Democratic Congressman Barney Frank arranged a meeting with the Iranian ambassador to discuss if this ban was only on heterosexual porn and his office said he would issue a statement after the meeting.

Democratic Presidential hopeful Senator Hilary Clinton seemed to support the bill's passage saying it would cut down on her husband's hotel room bill while he was on the campaign trail.

Contacted in her cell at the Lynnwood facility in Los Angeles Paris Hilton said; "Oh man, this is the worst month evuh!"

Well known porn industry star Ron Jeremy told reporters that he would stick it out as long as possible while on the lamb. The lamb refused to comment.

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas said that he would need a clarification from the Iranian court if it was "still cool to own that shit." Thomas also personally asked Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to pardon Long Dong Silver.

Republican Presidential hopeful Rudolph Giuliani could not be reached for comment as he and staff members were destroying all his home movies and photo albums.

Popular Porn director Wally Balls said: "This is why we don't let the baggy black trousers make all the decisions. I'd gladly die before I changed my views on high class porn."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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