Written by Chad Topple
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Topics: Ron Paul

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

image for Bush praises Ron Paul
George Bush Points & Talks at the same time.

In a surprise "off the record" press conference outside the White House this morning, President George Bush praised presidential candidate Ron Paul for being a leading Livertarian and lover of the Constitution.

    Ron Paul is a livertarian. He likes liver. I don't like liver. But Ron Paul does, probably cuz he's a doctor, and doctors know what to eat. We should probably add liver to the food triangle thingy. Ron Paul also likes the constitution.

    I like the constitution too. I take a morning constitutional every day from the Rose Garden to the Lincoln bedroom. It's only about 200 feet, but, I do it 10 times, so my aides tell me that's like 5 miles or something. I was real happy when they told me I'd have to swear to uphold the constitution, because I like to walk. I'm good at walking. Well, I'm good at walking as long as I don't have to do no talking. Walking and talking at the same time is hard work. I don't really like to swear either, but, Mr. Cheney said it would be ok this one time. Mr. Cheney doesn't like liver or constitutions. He says it slows him down.

    Anyway, I like Ron Paul. I don't understand what he's talking about most of the time. Liverty this and constitution that. I don't understand what liver has to do with my war in Iraq neither. Mr. Cheney tells me to stop worrying about liverty and the constitution he's got it covered up in the back with Scooter, Berto, and Harry.

    I can't wait to get out of here and start discussing my legacy. I been look'n at all the other portraits around the White House and I think I'm going to win this legacy contest thing. I got great legs from all my constitutionals and eating up all that liverty.

    So let me conclude by saying, Ron Paul is a great guy. He loves liver and he likes walking. You know he's even good at talking whilst he's walking. Wooee, now that's hard work.

George walked away singing Ron Paul's new campaign song. To hear it, click here.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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