CALIFORNIA (Sacramento Bee) - A wayward mother humpback whale and her calf seen leaving San Francisco Bay last week were found making their toward the Sacramento River again late Sunday.
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger quickly responded, lowering himself to the pair by helicopter. Using the bloated carcass of a California gray whale found nearby to fashion a platform, he then lashed a rope to the mother humpback and her calf.
"This is what I am talking about", Schwarzenegger said. "Here we have renewable energy for Kah-lee-for-nee-yah! Nevermind what the animal rights people say. They are all those special interest groups."
Attempting to reverse global warming after years of driving his Hummer, Schwarzenegger's last known position was heading out to sea beyond the Golden Gate Bridge and Potato Patch Shoals.