June 3rd, 2007 - Long Island, NY (RouteOutNews) - Late Saturday night, email inboxes of prominent Mass Media Talking Heads melted down in what many in the media described as a stealth attack from Ron Paul "guerilla freedom fighters".
A pajama clad Sean Hannity described the scene outside his posh Long Island home as the most "vicious" attack to date. "Since the South Carolina debates - which Guiliani won hands down - I've hardly slept. I keep hearing "You've Got Mail" throughout the night. Its those !@#$ Ron Paul "spammers" coming at me from everywhere. I don't know how they do it, but their emails appear legitimate coming from unique IP addresses from all across America", Hannity said. "Of course, everybody knows that Ron Paul can't have that kind of broad appeal. Ron Paul's campaign is just the Democrats trying to stir things up. I can talk over him any day of the week: WMDs are all over Iraq; Terrorists - they hate our freedom; you know all the stuff I say just drowns out the Paul supporters."
"Besides, Fred Thompson's in it now and he'll NUKE Ron Paul", Hannity shouted before slamming shut the massive wrought iron front door of his home.
Similar reports came in from conservative and liberal hosts like Rush Limbaugh, Chris Matthews, Anderson Cooper, Tucker Carlson and others who also reported relentless barrages of emails had caused their in-boxes to "vaporize". Matthews expressed concern that established lines of "proper" communication were being overthrown by guerilla warriors fighting for Ron Paul across demographic, psychographic, and political party lines.
Matthews said, "Oh God, it seems - although it can't be true - that even college students are fighting for Paul. Look at Eventful demands from colleges across America. This can't be as everyone knows that only gun-toting radical conservatives 50 and older are hunkered down in the Paul camp."
A Microsoft insider speaking on condition of anonymity stated that nothing like this has happened in the history of the internet. Developers are working overtime side by side with NSA officials to come up with Ron Paul filters that will kill any email with Ron Paul's name in text or images and to auto-delete Ron Paul's name from polls, web sites, podcasts, YouTube, and Google Video.
Reliable sources inside the Pentagon tell us that a "search and destroy" mission code named "The Eagle Has Fallen" is rolling out of DoD. The mission will seek out all communications containing "Ron Paul" or "Ron" or "Paul" and route them through NSA for elimination. "Obviously, the military contractors could lose 'billions' with each new Paul guerilla that pops up and they are pushing the Pentagon to 'do something'", says our inside source.
This, they think, should disrupt the spread of Ron Paul support and douse the flames of Liberty spread over the Internet by this latest round of attacks on the institutions of information in America. Government officials and Mass Media outlets hope to restore a semblance of order to the 2008 elections by isolating Paul guerilla warriors.
Our Pentagon source quoted one top official as saying, "This should turn the focus back on the 'top' Democratic and Republican candidates who WILL maintain the status quo and eliminate fringe ideas Paul and his like express such as following the Constitution."
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