Written by G Varnam
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Thursday, 24 May 2007

image for J.K. Rowling Has Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Classified Top Secret
Harry Potter and His Friends Ron and Hermione

(Crappers USA) J.K. Rowling is taking no chances to keep her book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows completely classified as top secret. The American book publisher has bought large acres of land and places it into high security like Area 51, the famous Groom Lake facility. Former CIA agents were hired to guard the printing press and high security clearance is needed to gain entry.

Why all this trouble for a children's book. It seems that the author J.K Rowling wants to keep this book secret until July 21, 2007.

A spokesman said in an interview; "If anyone even tries to leak the book prior to 7/21/2007 will have a jail cell at Guantanamo Bay. Also we have gone over the internet and wipe out any type of spoilers out there. Censorship on the net is very important."

One die-hard fan "Nancy" told TheSpoof.com she wrote a story about what could happen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Nancy said: "The next day it was gone. All my hard work had disappear over night. I even uploaded a video about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and that got removed."

It seems that England, the home of Harry Potter, has the same treatment. That book publisher print press building is fenced in and has surveillance cameras everywhere.

"You need a top secret security clearance to get in," said an employee at the print press. "You are strip searched before you enter and searched again after you leave. I am watched every day and I can't talk about anything in that building at all. Not even to my family. If I tried to leak out any information, I have been informed that I will be going to prison for twenty years - without trial!"

J.K. Rowling is refusing to comment on the matter. However, she is reportedly looking forward to a naked money fight with her closest showbiz pals when the book is released.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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