Written by Warren Redlich
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Tuesday, 22 May 2007

image for Star Terror on Airplane: Britney Sings
Britney Spears: Terror on Flight Oops I Did It Again

Passengers were struck with terror yesterday when star Britney Spears began singing on a United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Orlando.

The flight seemed to start off well as the plane pulled back from the gate, but then Spears began acting up. At first she complained about the lack of leather seats - the part of the story that has been covered by the mainstream media. But what happened next is the real terror.

Britney became so agitated that she started singing. Witnesses report that she started with We Shall Overcome, and followed that with Glory Glory Hallelujah. Unfortunately for the passengers, the star was not lip-synching, and the sound was her actual voice, not a CD.

A passenger identified only as Simon said that "the poor song choice combined with the tinny acoustics of the jet's interior" rendered the sound "horrendous". The captain rushed the plane back to its gate and quickly arranged for Britney to be taken to a private jet with no other passengers.

Two of the passengers seated near the singer were treated for nausea, but they did not need hospitalization. Another passenger caught an elbow to the head when Spears tried a dance move, but the injury was not serious. Fortunately, with Britney's ego gone, the plane was much lighter and reached its destination 15 minutes early.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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