Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 21 May 2007

image for Bush Replies to Former President Jimmy Carter Calling Him Worst President Ever
Is he even smarter than a fifth grader?

In an interview with an Arkansas newspaper, former President Jimmy Carter called George "Dubya" Bush "our worst president ever." Carter pointed out all of the Bush flaws and failures in domestic policy, foreign policy, and economic policy. As he pointed out all of the errors, the interview lasted three days and that edition of the newspaper is thicker than "War and Peace."

Carter said, "People used to make fun of my brother Billy because he was a boob. Usually, there is a member of the Presidential family that is an embarrassment. In this family, the daughters are mere Paris Hilton wannabees and the President is the boob."

Bush responded by saying "Boobs! I like boobs. Did you ever see that shower scene in Porky's? That's my favorite movie! I also liked it in Animal House when Belushi takes the ladder up to the sorority and peaks in the windows!"

Carter said, "Our President has put us into an unpopular, unwinnable war just because his father was insulted and threatened, and then lied about the weapons of mass destruction and Iraqi military capability. He has almost contstripted our biggest allies to fight in that war with us through economic threat."

Bush replied: "Did he say something about constripted? I have never done that! My bowels move perfectly every morning. About 7:30, I go into the bathroom with the comics page and the sports section and everything comes out just fine!"

Carter said, "The price of gas in this country is shooting through the roof at the pumps. Even though gas is almost $10 a barrel cheaper than last year, the price per gallon is almost 30 cents more. Our fuel reserves are at our worst levels ever. All of this, and our oil companies are reporting record profits from the consumers and he is doing nothing about it!"

Bush replied, "Gas? Yeah, I'll rip one occasionally, but Laura makes me take Beano after every meal. It's Condi whose got the worst case of the farts around here. She can't left cheek squeak on out either, she's gotta make them loud, explosive noises when she lets one fly."

Carter said, "I have nothing against the Bush family. His father is a good man and a good President, and he won in a fair and honest election. This boy, however, is just dumber than a box of rocks! I got nailed for saying that I discussed nuclear war with my teenage daughter. It wouldn't surprise me if he discussed it with the Teletubbies on his tv set! Dubya is not smarter than a fifth grader; even a first grader would be questionable."

Bush replied, "I like what Po says best. At least he's not gay like Tinky Winky"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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