Written by Emiliano Antunez
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Friday, 18 May 2007

image for World Leaders Express a Serious Interest in Running for U.S. President
"If you like Iraq, you'll love Iran."

Over the last twenty four hours announcements by certain world leaders' expressing an interest in entering the race for President of The United States has left pundits in shock and voters in awe. Perhaps sensing an opportunity due to voter apathy and indifference in the face of most of the current field of candidates for the White House, these "leaders" have decided to toss their hats in the ring.

Fidel Castro who recently "retired" from power in Cuba has expressed some interest. Speaking to a reporter for Granma (Cuba's official government newspaper) Castro said that he could easily tackle the US immigration problem, "The way I can destroy an economy and instill misery and suffering across the board, I'd have those Mexicans high tailing it back to Guadalajara in no time" he added "that parking at Home Depot would no longer be a problem under a Castro administration". An anonymous source also told us that he has plans to make the Oval Office cigar friendly.

Also mulling a White House run is Chinese President Hu Jintao. According to Hu his campaign would concentrate on U.S. foreign debt of which China holds a huge portion. He seemed not to be concerned with immigration and rising population in the U.S., but did give us a hint of a campaign slogan "Better Red than The Fed."

Venezuelan caudillo Hugo Chavez is said to be growing tired of third world politics and is looking to move up. Chavez claims he can solve America's energy crisis. Pressed on how he would do this he answered "I am planning an oil pipeline from Caracas to Miami, If Americans wish to no longer toil for their oil then they should make Hugo their Boss."

The British may be coming again, Britain's lame duck Prime Minister Tony Blair is said to be thinking about crossing the pond. He figures his experience of leading Britain into war is indispensable, pressed for a comment during his recent trip to the US Blair blinked and said "If you like Iraq, you'll love Iran."

Speaking of Iran its President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is said to like his chances in the wake of the rising tide of religious fundamentalism in America. Asked to describe what an Ahmadinejad administration would be like he simply responded "Nothing Pat Robertson or Oral Roberts would object to, I like to think of it as Taliban Lite."

Evo Morales Bolivians President has publicly denied any intention of seeking the presidency of the US. But privately sources say that Evo thinks his easy access to large quantities of cocaine would make him popular in the beltway. Hamilton Jordan has been retained and the campaign is expected to use "Coke, Evo's got the real thing" as its slogan.

There is a darkhorse candidate, Mexican President Felipe Calderon is said to be playing with the idea of making a dash across the border, but he is said only to be interested if the job includes a green card.

All these candidates have one major obstacle none of them are US citizens and only one uses English as his primary language (albeit with a funny accent). They are hard at work tackling this problem and have hired the best lobbyist money can buy, due to this they love their chances of getting things their way in the house and senate. As for the language barrier they don't seem overly concerned since not many folks listen to what politicians have to say anyway. Lies are lies in any language.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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