Written by Warren Redlich
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Friday, 11 May 2007

image for Bush: Death Penalty for Suicidal Killers
Cowboys for the Death Penalty

The Bush administration announced today that the President has submitted legislation to Congress making it a federal crime to commit suicide after killing others.

The proposal was spurred by the recent shootings at Virginia Tech and another incident where a gunman shot a New York State Trooper. The rash of suicide bombings in Iraq was also a factor cited by administration officials.

In his weekly radio address, President Bush said this legislation is essential in the War on Terror: "We must find a way to deter these terrorists. They think they can get away with murder by killing themselves, and we have to show them they're wrong."

Senator Hillary Clinton, the leading Democratic candidate for President, responded by restating her opposition to the death penalty. Clinton submitted her own bill which would impose life without parole for suicide killers.

Meanwhile, Republican candidate Rudy Giuliani went further than Bush, suggesting that the killer's entire family should also be killed, except for any unborn children in their third trimester.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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