Written by Moose&Squirell
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Topics: Space

Sunday, 6 May 2007

image for Wally Schirra Dead Astronaut Tell All Book To Be Released
Mother of Baker recalls: That's not my son!

HOUSTON,TEXAS-(APE) Lawyer representing the estate of former Mercury 7 Astronaut, Wally Schirra, has released to the media the contents of a "very revealing" book to be published by Freedumb Books. The expose titled "NASA: No Astronaut Should Ask", Describes in detail the lies & deception brought against the American people by the use of Billions of dollars earmarked for NASA programs to actually fund National Security Agency operations including the cover-up of the moon hoax and murder.

In the early sixties, The Mercury 7 astronauts Scott Carpenter, Deke Slayton, John Glenn, Gordon Cooper, Gus Grissom, Allan Shephard and Schirra were the USA's national celebrities whom promoted the space race with the Soviet Union during The Cold War. Wally was privy to all information good or bad leaving Houston. Schirra had knowledge of ongoing high level secret operations involving stealth projects such as: Majestic, Sundown, Obit, Nexus 1-9, Zero Down and especially murderous details of The Darwin Project.

"The Darwin Project" involved the killing & cover up of our very first 2 space travelers in early manned missions in the late fifties. Able, a seven-pound rhesus monkey, & Baker, a one-pound squirrel monkey put into the nose-cone of a Jupiter missile AM-18 and fired 300 miles into space from Cape Canaveral in Florida. During the doomed flight, which reached speeds of up to 10,000 mph, lasted 25 minutes and were recovered 2,500 miles down range in the South Atlantic Sea near Puerto Rico, where the pair were found burnt to a crisp.

The two were weightless for nine minutes, were monitored throughout the flight for changes in their heart beats, muscular reaction, silly antics, body temperature and rate of breathing. When all life-readings began to climb into unnatural territory seven minutes into the launch, systems coordinators begged NASA for an abort of travel before reaching "zenith point", where weightlessness begins and air thins out considerably. At 8 minutes and 10 seconds all life readings ceased. A spokesman from the Medical Research and Development Command of the US Army said the monkeys were in "perfect condition" on their return & regarded as a success by space experts.

But, in reality upon finding the dead sapiens, the NSA pooled their money together that morning and sped towards the city of Scooter, Florida, where the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus had scheduled their one week stay. The NSA cancelled all circus dates and kidnaped two performing monkeys who tumbled and twirled for the camera upon returning to Cape Canaveral for a press conference. Circus personnel were threatened & some paid off for their silence, all done in the name of the space program, including Baker's Mama.

Also covered in the book, is the immense complexity of the Moon Hoax perpetrated on the citizens of the world & the Mars pathfinder missions which are actually being filmed on a secret U.S. military base in central Australia. NASA responded to all finding in the book as 'the silly visions of an aging astro-nut'. More to come later.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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