Written by Mathmission
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Topics: Congress, Senate, Sleep, beef

Friday, 4 May 2007

image for McCaskill Shouts in Session: Where's the beef?
Where's the beef?!

Washington DC - In perhaps one of the more embarrassing moments of the Senate, Senator Claire McCaskill (D-MO) shouts out of turn, startling the usually low key sessions. During a debate regarding Senate Bill 4905.89, McCaskill shouted loud enough to be heard in the upper viewing deck without her microphone: "Where's the Beef?"

"I'm sitting right next to this woman, her head starts to bobÂ…and really, we were all starting to doze off. And then, her mouth drops open and she shouts out Where's the Beef? I nearly dropped dead right there," commented Senator Christopher Bond (R-MO). "Good ole Bill Nelson (D-FL) crapped in his pants, and had to step out for the rest of the session. He'd made it about 2 weeks without an accident. This was a huge letdown."

Rather than address Senator McCaskill's outburst, the proceedings continued. "If we stopped to ask just what the hell happened, we'd be acknowledging that we were all falling asleep," said Senator Bond. "America doesn't need to hear the Senate was half asleep, so we decided to just move on. We get away with so much stuff already; we didn't want to take any chances."

Most, if not all members of the public that were in attendance of the session were unavailable for comment. Only two were found and willing to speak to the press. "I don't know what you're talking about," said Ray Henderson, as he washed his new sports car. "It was a normal session, with normal talking, and everything was normal."

Henderson then commented on his new car. "She's a beaut, don't you think?" He further commented that he didn't have to pay a single dime for it, and began laughing. When questioned further, he declined to answer, and ended the interview.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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