Written by Sal Manella
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Friday, 4 May 2007

image for Bush Announces Plan to Outsource National Defense to India
Bush Unveils National Defense Outsourcing Plan Thursday

Dehli, India - President Bush announced Thursday that he had reached an agreement with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh to turn responsibility for the national defense of the United States over to India.

"It's a great day for both our countries", the president said as he met with the Indian leader in an employee break room at one or the nation's largest telemarketing firms. "The Indian workforce is hungry for meaningful work. They are smart and creative and I think every American will sleep a little easier at night knowing that our nation's defense is in the very capable hands of those same men and women who provide us with technical support over the telephone when our computers crash."

Prime Minister Sing said that he does not anticipate a problem finding enough volunteers for the 900,000 person force. "It's win-win proposition. Do you get my drift?" President Bush said as he pointed out that the Indian soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines who will be charged with defending the U.S. will be paid only about 25% of the salary that current members of the U.S. Military receive. This amount, however, is over 5 times the average salary in India!

"The Indians will be able to offer the people of the United States the same high quality level of national defense they have come to expect, at a fraction of the cost!", exclaimed a frenetic, almost giddy Bush. "These boys even have nukes", observed the president.

Sal Manella

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