Written by KEN RYNNE
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Saturday, 14 April 2007

image for Oprah, Imus To Wed -- Form National "Omus" Party
Blind Date, Condi's Idea

(Chicago, IL) -- Media phenomenon and African American woman most admired in the known world (after Rosa Parks & Halle Berry) has accepted Imus' proposal of marriage and corporate merger proposal - as soon as the current Mrs Imus and other shareholders consent.

Mr Imus, recently elected by public acclamation (mob rule) to the leadership of NBC and CBS, after Rutgers coach Stringer accepted his apology and stated "her faith in man was restored." This reversal of sentiment emanating from New Brunswick caused the millions to reflect upon their rush to condemn the 67-year old philanthropist and original American institution. With public sentiment, monitored, projected, and magnified 24/7 turning, Imus was elected President of Everything Oprah Doesn't Already Own.

Imus made the gesture out of love, humility, patriotism, let bygones-be-bygones, as well as what intimates refer to as "true affection" for the Chicago-based multibillionaire.

The marriage-merger, brokered by Condoleeza Rice, a mutual friend, would previously be contrary to antitrust and broadcasting ownership laws and regulations. But Americans, led by first responders Rev Al Tawana Sharpton and Rev Jessie H-town Jackson, and come-lately Rudy et al. protested to commercial sponsors and threatened to boycott, withhold financial support, and hold their breath until the Justice Dept and FCC waived the rules for the happy couple.

The Oprah/Imus union, Omus, was considering formation of a third party in American politics based upon the unity of racial, ethnic, and social divides. Citizens from any race, creed, or background with annual income in the top 1% ($1,000,000.00+) would be eligible to join.

"Omus is...hot! Is this a great country or what!?" Paris Hilton was heard to ask. Ms. Hilton was still waiting for an answer at press time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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