Written by K.C. Bell
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Tuesday, 13 March 2007

image for Bush To Pardon Libby
"I'm Roscoe. I ate the homework. Pardon me!"

It's clear President Bush will pardon I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby for his memory malfunction before leaving office in 2008; suggesting: if one has sloppy work habits; suffers from a dicey memory; has a predilection for gossip; he or she may work on the White House staff of the Vice President.

If convicted of a felony, a pardon by the President will follow. This is an employee perk one would never receive while working for Target, but at the White House? Guilty. Slammer. Sneeze. Pardon me. You're excused.

Mr. Libby's defense seem to be that he had a memory malfunction. Should he go to the slammer for that? Libby was just an office clerk. (rhymes with jerk) He was busy. (rhymes with tizzy) Maybe he had a list of items to buy at Target: chips for a game, coke, chili, paper shredder, stuff. He could have had a lot on his plate. And dogs do eat homework. It can happen. Particularly if you spread Roscoe's supper on homework.

So why would it be impossible for Libby to forget he disclosed the name of a CIA undercover operative after being told to do so by the Vice President of the United States, following a green light from the President? Maybe personality assassination is routine at the White House. Sneeze. Pardon me. You're excused.

Even rocket scientists have memory malfunctions. After astronaut Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles in diapers to kidnap and murder fellow astronaut Captain Colleen Smith, Captain Smith, - another rocket scientist - was unable to spell the word 'assault' correctly on the police report. Left the u out, got the ass right, but won't be competing with Akeelah in any spelling bee. Could be flying for Alligator Air soon.

Unlike President Bill Clinton, who lied about Oval Office visits by Monica Lewinsky, the Libby lie happened while trying to cover up the "forged papers" that started the idiot's delight war in Iraq; a war that has killed Americans, countless Iraqis, and is still killing. The CIA hasn't made public the number of lives in Valerie Plame's network assassinated after her cover was blown by Libby.

Will 'Scooter' Libby's felony memory malfunction be treated like a sneeze? Excuse me. You're pardon.

Yes.

Rhymes with mess.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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