Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 3 March 2007

image for Sympathy for the Devil
"One day my son all this will be yours"

Washington DC - (ReUterus): An anonynous high ranking Bonesmen's agent codenamed Peri Stalsis is believed to be the mastermind behind a massive upmarket DC prostitution racket and is now threatening to sell his list of 100,000 clients to pay for the escalating costs of Civil Whore in Iraq, his attorney said today.

Prosecutors have seized over $10 million in Treasury Bonds and $20 million in recently minted Gold Eagles belonging to the suspect from a Du Pont Circle facility formerly leased to the anonymous lynchpin the UK's Hellfire Club.

A trail of clues has been found showing that since 2001 his vice service hired over five thousand rent boys aged 14 to 20 to cater to professional male lobbyists, visiting them in hotels and homes in DC, Maryland and Virginia.

The up and coming young Pioneers were promised lucrative internships in Republican stink tanks as a reward for doing their patriotic duty and as a possible alternative to future conscription demands.

A tight organizational infrastructure meant that they were divided into secretive Chapters whose mantra was "There are seven things that the Master adores and cannot forsake".

Each was given an identity and allocated special mission objectives:

The Lucifer Chapter was allotted Pride as its operating talent and the DC crack dealing franchise.

The Mammon Chapter was given Greed and a Lying Six Inch Tongue for its targets in the Justice Department.

The Asmodeus Chapter was formed around Lust and Hands That Kill Innocent People for its work in the Pentagon.

The Leviathan Chapter took Envy and a Mind That Thinks Up Wicked Plans under the aegis of Karl Rove's department.

The Beelzebub Chapter had Gluttony and Feet That Hurry Off to do Evil in the Republican 2004 campaign office.

The Satan Chapter took Wrath and A Witness Who Tells One Lie After Another with special attnetion focused on the CIA.

The Belphegor Chapter was awarded Sloth and Someone Who Stirs Up Trouble Among Friends, especially on the Friends Reunited Webshite.

Months of tortuous decryption and sleuthing finally revealed the infrastructure behind the vice ring and the shadowy figure of the sleeping partner who was second in command to Peri Stalsis in the enterprise.

And while details remain tightly cloaked under sub judice rules it is still possible to reveal today that a trail of crumbs was discovered in the vice ring's HQ which when subjected to electron microscope analysis revealed a sinister similarity to the much vaunted Protein-Defying Ageing Pancakes whose world-leading salesman is based in Virginia Beach.

The second installment of the Sympathy for the Devil Trilogy will be published anon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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