Written by K.C. Bell
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Saturday, 3 March 2007

image for Bush To Replace Cheney With Senator McCain
"I'm not going anywhere."

Finding the Vice President more liability than asset, implicated in countless shenanigans, most recently, messing it up with Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, third in line for the Presidency, George Bush decided the time had come for Dick to move on; replacing him with Vietnam veteran Senator John McCain, giving McCain a clear path to the White House in 2008. And adding new meaning to swift boating a candidate by torpedoing McCain directly into the oval office. Hopefully waiting: a giant Joe Lounge catcher's mitt chair.

The Vice President protested the early retirement announcement: "To spend more time with his wife and family, particularly the new grandchild with the unnamed father. Not to be confused with the Anna Nicole Smith baby with the unnamed father, though there are a number of the willing; not to be confused with the coalition of the willing now fighting in Iraq."

Like Grandpa Cheney, the kid has already applied for and received a draft deferment. In twenty years, it's a sure bet there will be a draft and the U. S. will still be in Iraq.

Though no DNA test is required for the Cheney grandchild, one will be required for the Anna Nicole Smith baby, as well as Jesus, son of Joseph and Mary. Apparently, the giant catcher's mitt in the sky didn't exactly make that catch.

Film director James Cameron, of Titanic success, claims the remains found in a coffin at a cave near Jerusalem are those of Jesus, and DNA tests are being run up. How someone managed to get God's DNA is a mystery. Besides a body named Jesus, there was also a body of the son of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, named Judah, which raises a few eyebrows.

Just as Grandpa Cheney is denying and rejecting early retirement, so is Christianity denying and rejecting the bones found as those of The Jesus; insisting he was indeed caught by the giant catcher's mitt in the sky.

Resembling Spencer Tracy more every day, Senator John McCain is about to start sailing through the air, headed to land in the oval office by 2008.

"Going to feel like being ejected from my old plane. But that landed me in the Hanoi Hilton for six years."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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