Written by Shaun Hittle
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Wednesday, 28 February 2007

image for Report Indicates that Friendly Fire is not as Friendly as once Thought
Soldiers Trying not to Shoot Eachother

Fort Benning, GA- A recent report compiled by the United States' Department of Defense indicates that "friendly fire" is not exactly friendly, particularly towards those injured in friendly fire incidents.

Statistics from soldiers involved in 433 friendly fire incidents in Iraq in 2006, show that 96% of soldiers find "very little" to "nothing" friendly about friendly fire. Army soldier Dan Marvin, who was shot in the gluteal muscle during his one year tour in Iraq, told researchers, "I found nothing friendly about a gunshot in my buttocks. In fact, I might even categorize the whole experience as openly hostile." Rick Towson, who lost his right leg in the same friendly fire incident as Marvin, stated, "I don't know what's friendly about losing a leg. I know of very few of my friends who would show friendship to me that way."

A Michigan-based organization, Semantics Matters, whose mission includes "integrity in linguistics" is currently advocating for a more accurate term for instances where US soldiers are harmed by their own forces. Such terms being considered include "Mistaken Casualties," "Shoddy Shot Incidents," or simply "Unfriendly Fire."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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