Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 8 February 2007

image for Curse of the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe as Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39
Hard Rock, Anna Nicole

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. - (Rotters & ReUterus): The ancient curse of the Seminoles has struck again. Former Playboy playmate Anna Nicole Smith, ex-widow of nonagenarian Texan oil tycoon J Howard Marshall, was found dead in her hotel room at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino in South Florida. She was 39.

An autopsy report has concluded that the blonde and surgically enhanced Ms Smith had probably died of sudden unexplained death syndrome.

This was possibly exacerbated by carrying all that extra weight around her heart in the shape of the two humunguous silicone breast implants.

However, superstitious locals are worried that her fate may have been sealed by an ancient curse carried by the Seminiole tribe which last year bought the hotel and casino complex where she was staying.

"Look at what happened to Roddick", said one local who did not want to be named.

"Last year he launched his pre-Aussie Grand Slam book at the Seminole Hard Rock Cafe Hotel and Casino here. Three weeks later Federer wiped the floor with him three nil. A masterclass in humiliation. We blame the Seminoles."

Bad luck was said to stalk Ms Smith for a number of years. A bitter court fight for her dead husband's £474 million, addiction to prescription medication, the death of her 20 year old son Daniel last year.

She leaves a baby daughter whose paternity is still unestablished.

And a grieving, bewildered husband, Howard K Stern, whose recent Stern Report into greenhouse gases said global warming was 'what keeps us men warm at night'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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