Written by K.C. Bell
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Dick Cheney

Wednesday, 7 February 2007

image for Cheney Taking The Fifth
He called us what?

If subpoenaed to testify in the I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby obstruction of justice case, Vice President Dick Cheney, recipient of four deferments, may just take the Fifth to avoid the possibility of incriminating himself.

Taking the Fifth or the 5th, (not to be confused with a bottle of whiskey, which he might be inclined to drink) is the refusal to answer a question put to a witness by a prosecutor while under oath. What is at stake here is a possible charge of treason for outing CIA operative, Valerie Plame. It isn't clear, however, whether a firing squad is still used in the United States.

During the process of outing a CIA operative, Cheney was also trying to discourage criticism of his efforts to manipulate the initial information for going to war with Iraq. Remember those weapons of mass destruction? Never found. Never there. The never, never possibility of accumulating two counts of treason, however, is a possibility. There is doubt that a double firing squad would be used, if firing squads are used in the United States.

The Vice President has already taken the 5th by refusing to reply to a question put to him by CNN's Wolf Blitzer. Not in court, Cheney was unwilling to answer a question about his daughter; though he is certainly willing to send other peoples daughters and sons to fight and perhaps be killed in a war that he invented, created, manipulated, misrepresented, encouraged and possibly committed treason twice to initiate.

Describing the war in Iraq as "that grinder" U. S. Republican Senator Chuck Hagel of Nebraska, a veteran of the Vietnam war, said anyone unwilling to vote against the President's surge resolution should quit being Senators and go out and "sell shoes". This prompted shoe salesmen from around the world to protest, as it represented them as a group of weak kneed, incompetent, stumbling, stupid squirrels.

A lottery was immediately created by the salesmen to select the Senator's next shoe salesman. ISSS, an acronym for International Society of Shoe Salesmen, vow that if the Senator from Nebraska looks cranky and granite faced now, wait until he buys he next new pair of shoes.

Pass the 5th.

Read more by this author:

Make K.C. Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 5?

7 25 24 10

Go to top