Written by Breeze
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Saturday, 3 February 2007

image for President Bush's sobriety called into question as Paris Hilton is named Ambassador for Iraq
Bush, 'clearly intoxicated'

There were raised eyebrows on Capital Hill today as President Bush named airhead heiress, Paris Hilton, as the new American ambassador for Iraq and sparked new fears that the President had started drinking again.

"I believe that Parish will win the heartsh and mindsh of the Iraqi people with her glamouroush lifeshtyle and perky breashts," said a clearly inhebriated President, "I have also given the go ahead for a new Dishneyland reshort to be built in Bashra."

The President stumbled several times during the speech and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that his shirt was hanging outside his trousers and his flies were undone.

'What are you looking at' he demanded at one point, staring menacingly at a reporter and threatening to 'sort him out' before being restrained by several FBI agents and told to 'leave it'.

Fears that the President has resumed drinking after 20 years of sobriety had been circulating since his decision to declare war on 'anybody who looks at us the wrong way' and had gained pace after he told the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, that he was his 'besht mate' and started to cry during a televised debate on Iraq.

Sources at the White House however have insisted that the President was just 'tired and emotional' and he would be back to normal tomorrow.

The rumours persist however and they are not helped by the images on last nights news of a clearly unsteady President urinating on the lawn of the White House.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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