Written by noemailaddress2005
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: America, employment, Jobs

Monday, 29 January 2007

image for U.S. to Outsource Jobs
"Please hold the line, a fire truck will be with you as soon as possible"

Washington DC - A startling New bill passed into law early this afternoon that will outsource the executive branch of the government. "It is a great way to save our tax payers money; think of all the money that is wasted on running the elections and campaigns - that money can be used for other more important things such as funding my war on terror" the president said in a press conference.

Although it hasn't been officially released, the government has narrowed its search down for an acceptable location to outsource to. "we're leaning towards either India or Iraq. Iraq has offered us some enticing offers that include free oil to the new white house, an Olympic sized pool, and a camel " senator John Witshaks said.

As soon as a location is set, the transaction will be almost immediately. The president said that if the trial is successful, which he fully believes it will be, many more departments will also be outsourced.

The list includes the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, the Armed forces, and even the Emergency Services. The president anticipates that response times of the outsourced police, fire departments, and ambulance will be slightly longer. To help pass the time waiting for EMS to arrive, all 911 stations are required to install a 'Music-on-hold' system on their phones. The phones will play songs, as well as give an estimated wait time.

"The money we save by doing this will pay off in the long run " the president said.

The white house was listed on the MLS this afternoon, although the price was undisclosed. "the price tag will be largely based on the history inside" Century 21 Realtor Jim Fargotten said.

Make noemailaddress2005's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

7 14 6 25

Go to top