Written by Jalapenoman
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Saturday, 27 January 2007

image for President Unable to Identify Human Brain
When asked, the President could not tell the difference between these weapons and a human brain

While visiting school children yesterday in Delaware, President Bush was showing pictures to the students to assist the teacher. One picture was nor readily identified by Mr. Bush. As he took a second, then third look at a photograph of a human brain, the President appeared to be stumped.

Turning to the children, the leader of the free world said, "Class, this is something that I have never seen and have never used during my presidency. This is something that I have sent troops to the Middle East to hunt down and find. It is a weapon of mass destruction (WMD for short."

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was also on the public tour with the President. At his announcement that a human brain was a WMD, she rolled her eyes, looked at her feet, snickered a little, and then spoke up. "It's a human brain, you moron. You don't know what it is because you've never used one before.

"The only way that your's is a weapon of mass destruction is because you sent thousands of our troops to Iraq to die and spent billions of dollars to keep them there. I'm so glad that you are a lame duck now because you're just a moron and now I can say it to your face!"

The students, teachers, other school workers, press, secret service agents, and other government officials were all stunned by the Speaker's outburst.

After quickly consulting a copy of volume "B" of the World Book Encyclopedia located in the classroom, White House officials determined that there was some evidence that the picture in question might have possibly been a human brain. They made plans, however, to check Al Quida links to the publishing company before they made any kind of final determination.

In a fit of embarrassment, Bush ordered secret service agents and school physical education coaches to see that Nancy did 1700 push-ups. She was to do these before being allowed to continue with the school tour.

While Bush was with the children, he did invite them to ask him a few question. A third grader, Monica Slewinsky, asked when they were going to catch Osama Bin Laden.

The President answered and said, "I forgot .. there's a time limit on the thing too .. can't forget the time limit and no comments about me promising to catch Bin Laden in that Trade Center rubble next to that fireman. Laden's just as good as caught....soon as we find the critter."

Antoher child, Fifth grader Angie Cornish, asked if Bush had ever been in the military and what he did there.

He was answered with, "Way back, in the Texas National Guard I did have to, well, try to at least do 1700 pushups because Sarge commanded me to do. See, I was on Russet potato duty in the mess hall one day, but I won't tell that story because it's got potatoes and that's not a pretty sight."

When a fourth grader asked if the President could help with his spelling homework, the President refused to do so. "See, Dan Quayle already tried that once when he was Vice President and he proved he was a dummy because he couldn't spell...so I'm not going to prove that to you because you already know what I am."

After that, the President and the others left the school to head for a publicity stunt at a factory. Pelosi could be seen on the basketball court, counting off with a coach, "213.....214.....Oh God, I hate that moron....215."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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