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Wednesday, 27 December 2006

image for Saddam Hussein is Dead! - a story that just won't happen.
"I am glad that the world is now happy and safe from terrorism", Bush said in an impromptu speech.

Former Iraqi Dictator Saddam Hussein was put to death by hanging early this morning. No sooner did the noose snap his neck than the Iraqi people celebrated by dancing in the street singing "Ding Dong the King is Dead" and praised George W Bush as their savior.

"He rescued us from the hand of tyranny" said Abul Omar, an unemployed accountant. "This moment was worth the death of my wife and three children".

"I knew he could do it. I always believed in him", said 19 year old quadriplegic former soldier Todd Matthew. "Bush has proved that we was right all along".

Many Americans held their heads in shame for ever doubting one of the greatest presidents in history. "I..I campaigned against him", said ex-Move On member and former Democrat Peter Cummins with tears in his eyes. "How will I ever live this down? My career...my marriage...and my life are over!" Cummins says his plans for suicide are incomplete.

Early this afternoon the Iraqi people held a massive ticker tape parade with George W Bush at the helm as scores of soldiers marched behind him playing classic American songs such as "God Bless America" and "When Johnny Comes Marching Home". Millions of newly-liberated Iraqis had their first taste of alcohol as Budweiser and Miller provided the refreshments. McDonald's restaurant provided over 300,000 free Big Macs in preparation for announcing the opening of their first store in downtown Baghdad.

The most moving moment was after the parade when the Iraqi people all rose and sang "The Star Spangled Banner" in perfect English as Bush saluted the flag with tears of joy running down his cheek.

Donald Rumsfeld, one of Bush's closest friends and allies was obviously bitter. "We have proven all you bastards wrong" Rumsfeld said with steely resolve. "And you are all going to pay". Rumsfeld did not elaborate on exactly how much America had to pay.

Many American newspapers have issued immediate retractions to the defamatory articles they had written about our Commander In Chief prior to Saddam's hanging. New York Times editor Bill Keller even went so far as to issue a public apology as he fell to his knees in front of the White House crying "Forgive me Mr Bush! I am a sinner and not worthy".

Time Magazine spokesperson Doreen McCrae said "well, we are sorry we have criticized the President but not as sorry as Mr. Keller. Our editor has promised Mr Bush a lifetime subscription."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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