Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 22 December 2006

image for Court demands retrieval of Bush bullet implant
The bullet is currently safe

Wacko, Texarse - (Ass Mess): Texan prosecutors are lobbying the US Justice Department to force a local resident, Mr Bush, to have a bullet retrieved from his brain in a forensic evidence warrant execution that is vital for successful prosecution of a case of attempted murder.

But so far Mr Bush's lawyers have fended off any attempts for forcible surgery on the 9mm ballistic implant which is lodged close to the frontal lobe in a part of the brain that governs political aspirations, abstinence from narcotic abuse and blind trust in cute little hobgoblins.

Mr Bush has defied the prosecutors' relentless motions to get him admitted for surgery by stating that this is a gross violation of his Constitutional rites. And forensic psychiatrists have backed him up by testifying that any tampering with the bullet could result in an immediate personality reversal which could turn the man into a war-defying pacifist fuelled by a lust for hallucinogens and opiates that no amount of therapy could possibly cure.

So the bullet is currently safe.

Some brain specialists have speculated that x-rays have shown that the penetration is extensive and has resulted in Bush being totally cut off from most normal feelings and any sense of reality.

But meanwhile prosecutors are doing everything to get as much mileage as possible for their side of the case, recently telling a TV interview that the bullet had become stuck in Mr Bush's skull after a shoot-out with a second hand car salesman.

After defying initial extraction, Mr Bush underwent a personality change and immediately made the used motor dealer the next US Ambassador to London, a post which he has now held for eighteen months.

Wacko sources are saying this week that the case will go to appeal at the US Supreme Court early next year.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 3?

1 18 4 21

Go to top ^