In a bid to atone for his racist tirade at the Laugh Factory, Michael Richards (Seinfeld's Kramer) announced, "Let the healing begin. I will marry Madonna and adopt two African boys." Speaking at a Beverly Hills press conference, Richards said, "Madonna and I will wed next Wednesday, and spend our honeymoon in Africa looking for two black boys to adopt."
When asked why he chose Madonna, Richards replied, "I struggled for several days, asking myself who has the sensitivity and the track record to help me with racial healing? Then I walked into a doorknob, and it hit me. Madonna, of course! Madonna just adopted an African baby. Madonna knows how to show the Love to black people."
Richards seemed a bit like the nervous groom, forgetting some details when asked questions. "What African country will you honeymoon in?" "Er...I think the country is Macaca...or Mombassa...I know it begins with an "M"...I got it, Malawi...where Madonna adopted her African boy."
In concluding the press conference, Richards explained why he changed his strategy for atonement: "I insulted 50 million African Americans. Over the past few days I phoned and apologized to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. At that rate it would take me 137,000 years to apologize to 50 million African Americans. I haven't got that kind of time."
Madonna could not be reached for comment, but her press agent said, "Madonna has obtained a "platonic marriage" certificate that, under Malawi law, allows rich foreigners like her and Mr. Richards to form a marriage of convenience. Madonna will help Mr. Richards through the intricacies of the Malawi adoption laws and local customs. Madonna's compassionate assistance to Mr. Richards is simply another of Madonna's charity projects, and will in no way effect her relationship with current husband Guy Ritchie."