Written by Keith Shirey
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

image for Rick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama
TESTS COMING FOR HER VIRGINITY?

In the U.S., critics say, the terms "faith based," "religion," and "family values" cut off thinking in the American brain, generating endorphins and sometimes evoking nods and smiles.

Now, after the Hobby Lobby decision allowing "faith based" tightly held corporations the right to not allow contraceptives to female employees "people of faith" are emboldened. Religious groups are demanding that President Obama exclude them and "faith-based" corporations from the federal government's having the power to exclude them from discriminating against the LGBT people, if they do business with the government.

Said Rich Warren, Pastor of Saddleback Church - and the man who gave the invocation to Obama's inauguration - what the government needs to understand is that this is a matter of protecting religious rights to bigotry, intolerance, and narrow-mindedness. "The feds need to say out of our activities and beliefs," said the man of faith.

"Of course I don't hate the homosexual, I just hate his actions. This means, if I had anything to do with it, he couldn't get a govenment job and pay the bills for his partner or adopted children," stated the nationally known preacher.

Evangelical fundamentalist Christian "faith leaders" throughout the country sent e-mails to Obama saying that a religious corporation, who bosses believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin, should not be forced to hire fornicators.

"I realize that this might exclude the vast majority of Americans," said Cardinal Baloney of New York. "But faith leaders in religious corporations have the right to be selective."

Whether the American public will object to federal measures against gays and non-virgins in the name of "religious rights" will be of great interest to the opinion pollsters.

In Pakistan, where women are often tested to see if their virginity is intact, Mullah Mohamud al-Shitari said he was available for consultation to American corporations should they seek his medical advice.

Make Keith Shirey's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 3?

4 3 16 8

Go to top