Written by Don Fulsom
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Saturday, 24 May 2014

The Washington Redskins will soon have a new name says Danny Snyder, the team's owner. "It's about time I realized that this was a racist name that demeans our Native American population."

In an apology-laced announcement, made in front of a smoking tee pee at a local Indian reservation, Snyder asserted, "these primitive peoples that we turned into alcoholics deserve a better nickname!"

The owner says he's already dismissed as racist the two nicknames he first thought of-"Scalpers" and "Tontos."
And he is inviting public input in his decision on the new name.

Snyder ended his photo op at the reservation by handing out free whiskey and tobacco. After most reporters had left, the owner muttered to reservation resident: "I'm a rich guy, so I can afford these treats that will keep your tribe inactive for a while, you poor damn drunken redskins. You don't deserve to be the nickname of our fine franchise."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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