Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 30 March 2014

image for A Woman Living In Baltimore Still Subscribes To The Newspaper
Ruby is one of the few people in America who still subscribe to a daily newspaper.

BALTIMORE - People are always saying that there is nothing new under the sun, but Durango Tucker, a writer with National Focus Magazine has just come across a new story.

Tucker spoke to Baltimore hair stylist Ruby Shimashanski, 41, about her peculiar trait.

It appears that Ruby is the last of a dying breed of Americans who in this day and age of the instant Internet still subscribes to a local newspaper.

Tucker could not believe it when he was told about Miss Shimashanski by one of her neighbors.

Durango contacted Ruby and she invited him over to her apartment. The hair stylist, who is an excellent cook, managed to whip up a little something for her and Durango.

Tucker said that it just so happened to be his favorite dish Stir Fried Woodchuck with Crushed Pretzels Smothered in Smuckers Grape Jelly.

Ruby said that she had found out what his favorite dish was from his editor.

Tucker asked her why it is she still subscribes to the newspaper when she can get instant access to any story on the Internet for free.

Ruby smiled and said that her father was a newspaper sports writer, her mother was a newspaper food critic, and her ex-husband was a newspaper Horoscope writer.

In Other News. A White House source has stated that Mrs. Obama has let it be known that she better not hear any of the staff mention the name of the Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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