Written by Jalapenoman
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Topics: Dick Cheney

Thursday, 9 November 2006

image for Cheney Responds to Republican Losses
Cheney has invited his brothers from the other side of the house to go hunting with him.

In response to the overwhelming Democratic victory of both houses of Congress in Tuesday's mid-term elections, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has decided to bury the political hatchet and seek compromise and the middle ground. Thanksgiving weekend, he has planned a hunting trip out west for the freshmen electees.

Said Cheney, "I've invited all of the newly elected Democratic Governors, Senators, and Representatives to go hunting with me at my private lodge in Wyoming. Due to the large number of people, I've ordered extra shot gun shells and other ammunition. I'm sure we'll all have fun drinking beer, getting to know each other, and shooting at the game and other targets."

Newly elected House of Representative member Otis Patsy from Vermont was pleased with the invitation. "As a freshman member of the House, I am pleased at this opportunity to sit down one on one with the Vice President and make known the wishes of my party and my constituents. I look forward to seeing his marksmanship and sportsmanship."

When reminded of his hunting accident of last year, Cheney said that "I've cleaned my glasses a time or two since then. Remember that I am an accomplished hunter and always shoot what I aim at."

The Vice President was also asked why he has not invited the new Republican electees to his lodge. "I need to get to see these guys and shoot the breeze with them first. We really want to bury the hatchet and move forward in our administration. By meeting with them, we can kill two birds with one stone. Our target is to have a peaceful coexistence in government. We'll make peace or die trying. We do not want to use a shotgun approach to dialogue, but to get one on one with these men and women. If this was billboard magazine, I would say that the impotance of this trip is number one with a bullet!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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