New York - Newly declassified papers from the 1960s have shed a lurid light on the woodshed conception of Kerry Kennedy, the human frights troll.
Farrowed in a Shergar, County Louse cattle byre young Kerry was smuggled out of Eire straight into the arms of America's super fertile celebrity couple Mr and Mrs Robert Kennedy.
Her biological father, Bill Clinton, was not present at the birth.
This week's release of secret US military intelligence archives tells the real life story of a mafia-on-mafia spat that ended with Clinton hiring a PR sharpshooter to take care of stuff about, uh, dirty Bobby stuff.
The revelations are all the more bizarre given this week's Kerry Kennedy DWI rant when she told the jury that, 'My daddy died when I was eight, he was killed when he was running for president'.
"Poor deluded Kerry," the courtroom janitor tweeted, "everyone knows she's that bastard's brat."