Written by D P Whitehead
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Ukraine, sanctions, Kiev

Monday, 24 February 2014

image for US Grocery Stores To Boycott Chicken Kievs Until Further Notice
Ukrainian Grateful That American's Give A Shit

US based grocery stores are taking a stand on the continued confusion emanating from Ukraine by clearing their shelves of Chicken Kievs until someone tells them "what the hell is going on".

"We will not stock this product, despite its popularity with American consumers until someone sorts out this mess. We refuse to promote anything that we have no clue about and are totally ignorant of, including facts, any interest or understanding of the situation."

U.S. National Security Adviser Susan Rice who warned on Sunday that it "would be a grave mistake" if Russian President Vladimir Putin intervened militarily in the ongoing crisis in Ukraine is backing the plan.

"The United States is on the side of the Ukrainian people, and as such, despite Chicken Kievs not being produced in Ukraine and our boycott having no effect whatsoever on the situation or their plight, we are going ahead regardless and encouraging not only grocery stores but restaraunts also to refuse to stock or serve this popular breaded cutlet dish of boneless chicken breast pounded and rolled around cold garlic butter with herbs, then breaded and either fried or baked".

As an alternative, American shoppers are being offered Chicken Cordon bleu, similar to a Chicken Kiev, but where the meat is wrapped around cheese (or with cheese filling), then breaded and pan fried or deep fried, and, which the name suggests, is a traditional American dish.

Make D P Whitehead's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

7 3 2 4

Go to top