Written by Bureau
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Topics: Food, Green, Winter, Summer

Sunday, 16 February 2014

image for No Summer This Year!

A team of weather experts meeting in New York are predicting no real summer this year but that 75 degrees in the south may be the best anyone can hope for. And, of all things, it's being blamed on Global Warming.

Forecasters say that an unusually long and cold wet winter will get continue until well into April, although there will be some Spring-like days mixed in.

"What we fear is that crops won't grow with them being put out so late or for the second or third time", stated Joe Pritini, weatherman featured in specials on The Weather Channel. "That could mean that we have to import a lot of our fruits and vegetables causing the price of groceries to skyrocket and hurt the economy even further."

According to the report, most of the rest of the world will have unusual weather also, so they might not have a whole lot of food to export.

The U.S. and European countries are taking this serious and plan for Government greenhouses that will be huge. Also, farmers are going more and more to hydroponics and growing tomatoes, squash, greens, etc inside using natural mineral and vitamin fed water.

"This could be a blessing in disguise", stated Secretary of Agriculture, Proceso Alcala. In the future we will need more land for other things and a bigger population. If we learn to grow most crops indoors, we could support our population and forget the imports."

And Meanwhile?

"Stock up on Nutella! Seriously, you usually can stock up on canned food and plant a few tomatoes and greens near the house where the sun will hit and can the tomatoes. Check the internet on growing cool/cold weather veggies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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