FRESNO, CALIFORNIA - 911 emergency phone lines across Central California were jammed early this morning.
"People all are reporting the same thing," says June Blankenship, a 911 dispatcher. "There is a strange substance coming out of the sky in shimmery sheets. The dust is disappearing and there is a gloppy mixture left in its place. The crackly brown grass is becoming soft and the trees are coated with millions of these tiny droplets. Birds are flying around, landing in the substance and splashing endlessly. The air pollution has vanished, seemingly overnight. The air is wonderfully fresh and everybody feels so much better. Suicide helpline calls have dropped dramatically!"
Governor Jerry Brown has put the state law enforcement agencies on high alert. He has also directed the California EPA to send out investigators to Central California to determine what the heck is going on. Until then, residents are being asked to stay in their houses.