WASHINGTON, D.C: With record low temperatures creeping across the majority of the United States, the President has held a press conference to address the issue.
"There is a Fahrenheit inequality, all across America. For too long now, we have sat by and let our fellow Americans experience record low temperatures. This is why I am calling for a space heater program, along with ducting, to redistribute California's temperatures across America."
With severe temperatures creeping south--especially in places like Fargo, N.D, all of Minnesota, and other places no one ever wanted to visit anyway--it's clear that the President is poised to take this issue head on; welcoming it as a miraculous opportunity to take the heat off his administration, after his controversial signature policy, Obamacare, has left many Americans weary of the future of the United States.