Written by Evil
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Topics: Lady Gaga, War, Gangs

Thursday, 14 November 2013

image for Lady Gaga goes to war against Los Zetas
Lady Gaga's bodyguard said he is ready for the Zetas.

The singer Lady Gaga has announced that she is at war with Los Zetas, the drug cartel in Mexico. She went to fight in the front lines of the border battle against the most dangerous drug gang in the world.

It's being reported that Lady Gaga used Mexican citizens to form self-defense groups inside of Mexico. One of her vigilantly groups say they have freed six municipalities of the much feared Zetas gang.

Los Zetas say they will regroup and try to gain ground against Lady Gaga, but now the traffickers have another major hurdle: Gaga has armed and trained anti-immigrant groups to patrol the border areas where the Zetas transport drugs.

"As the ruthlessness of the cartels continues to increase, I am going to protect myself the best I can," said Lady Gaga.

"It's going to be a deadly game of cat and mouse on the Rio Grande" Gaga continues.

Gaga has six massive boats in the river now and more to come. It's a six-man crew with an amazing amount of fire power unlike anything that has ever been seen.

"We do have a significant amount of fire power that we can use to attack the Zetas," Gaga said.

Four 30-caliber guns on every boat, each firing 900 rounds a minute. But this battle is not just on the river.

It's also now being fought from the air. Lady Gaga has purchased several helicopters and small planes to airlift supplies to her self-defense groups in Mexico.

"We are facing an enemy unlike any other we have faced in law enforcement," a Zeta's member continues "Lady Gaga has armed her troops very well, and she has organized them very well."

In Mexico she has attained the status of a Lawrence of Arabia because of the breadth and variety of her activities and associations.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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