Written by Adam Click
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Topics: Obituary

Friday, 8 November 2013

image for Rodger Franks, The Cross-Dressing Crossing Guard
The bereft children of Victoria Secrets School crowd the coffin of Rodger Franks,their beloved cross-dressing crossing guard.

Victoria Springs,ID- Rodger Franks, the cross-dressing crossing guard beloved by generations of Victoria Springs Idaho school children was found dead in his undergarments just hours after he failed to show up for his afternoon shift in front of Victoria Secrets Elementary School.

"It's a tragic loss." Victoria Secrets Principal, Ralph Alfalfa, said in a tersely written statement read over the school's public address system the following morning. "Who will ever forget his supple and pouting lips, those breasts, his deep blue eyes. that certain je ne sais quo."

Mr. Franks will be buried in the same Sequined evening gown he had planned to wear to work that sad day when his life was cut short. "I picked it out myself." Mr. Alfalfa explained. "I think "Rosa" as those who knew him called him, would have wanted it that way."

The funeral will be Wednesday afternoon at the La Cage aux Folles Funeral Home. A cause of death is yet to be decided.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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