Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 13 September 2013

image for Unka Dubya turns down Euan Blair wedding invite on paranoia grounds
Withdrawal Methodist George W Bush at his own nuptials

Texarse - "Uh, sorry to pull out on your big day, pal," the former US President told Tony Blair in a midnight phone call last night citing premature evacuation worries about Saturday's lavish nuptials.

Aides confirmed that secret intelligence about a Brit cops' plot to nab George W Bush in an airport swoop 'just like one that netted State Secrets blabbermouth Glenn Greenwald' last month reached the ex-US President earlier this week, putting the kybosh on any foreign travel.

Secret Service advice to the Withdrawal Methodist ex-President may also have mentioned the karmic implications of attending a 'Marriage At Cana'-style nuptials on Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, leaving Bush firmly dug in at his Predator Chapel Ranch home in Crawford's Bible Belt this weekend.

The $5 million UK shindig is being hosted by pals Tony and Cherie Blair as up-and-coming New Labour thug Euan Blair prepares to tie the knot with some gullible socialist called Suzanne Ashman, 25.

Insider Brit sources claim that virtually all Blair's bastard sons will be attending the wedding including firstborn arse David Cameron [plus twin sister Rebekah Brooks], Ed Milliband, Hugh Grant, Angie Hunter's horrid spawn David Beckham, Judith Murray's equally nauseating brat Andy Murray, JK Rowling's fetid royal impersonator son Prince William and up to half a dozen con artists on Interpol's Most Wanted list.

Commenting on the guest list this morning Blair char woman Baronness Ashton said the Bushes had sent a marvellous wedding present for Euan and his intended - a signed watercolor of his latest pooch painting of a Shit-zu called 'Middleton'.

Cherry Bush is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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