Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 31 August 2013

image for An 8-Year-Old School Boy Finds A Top Secret CIA Document at A Dairy Queen In Queens
The top secret document that Howie Buttonbitty found at a Dairy Queen in Queens.

QUEENS, New York - Little 8-year-old Howie Buttonbitty has always said that he is very lucky at finding things.

When he was just 5-years-old he found an old Civil War cavalry sword that had belonged to Confederate General Stonewall Jackson.

And on his seventh birthday he found a high heel shoe at Venice Beach, California that had Marilyn Monroe's DNA all over it.

But Howie's latest discovery is a real doozy, as they say in Kalamazoo.

Howie walked into a Dairy Queen Restaurant in Queens with his parents Logan and Arcadia Buttonbitty and they sat down at a booth.

Right away Howie noticed a brown folder wedged between the booth seat cushion and the back cushion.

He pulled it out and on the front it had the words - TOP SECRET - CIA DOCUMENTS.

He quickly showed it to his parents who immediately got up and left the restaurant.

They looked on the Internet and called up the United States CIA. A Mr. Fitzington took the call and within seven minutes three CIA agents showed up at the Dairy Queen parking lot.

They took the document from Howie. They thanked him and handed him an envelope and quickly left.

As they drove off, Howie opened the envelope which contained a United States Treasury check for $45,000.

SIDENOTE: The Buttonbitty's went back into the Dairy Queen and bought Chocolate Coated Waffle Cones for everyone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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