Texas - An operation to remove what Seedy Sign-I Hospital surgeons have termed a 'massive clot' has seen George W Bush's innards pumped with fat-buster stuff normally reserved for urban sewer maintenance.
Cardiologists said the lardy lumps in Dubya's aorta looked remarkably similar to a 15 tonne 'fatberg' discovered inside West London storm drains in a public interest story broadcast on Texan TV breakfast news today.
Hospital nutritionists said that as a precaution have put the former president on the Bill Clinton Vegan Diet consisting of raw vegetables, fruit, seeds and a few nuts each day.
"The alternative is too horrible to mention," leading cardiovascular specialist Dr Einstein Flintstone commented, "think lumps of cholestrol like melted Monterey Jack swirling round madly in eight pints of O Negative."
Bush is expected to be discharged from hospital later today and will recuperate at his Predator Chapel Ranch home in Crawford for the rest of the week.
Laura Bush is 69.