NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Michael Bloomberg has submitted a request to President Obama, asking the Federal Government to police the purchase of large, illegal, sodas.
After Mayor Bloomberg signed the Big Soda Act (BS ACT) into law in June, police have been unable to effectively fight the war on soda. They have added 3752 personnel and have increased the police department's budget by $3.87 million, but have been unable to stem the flow of the evil, carbonated concoctions.
"In order to continue to fight the good fight, we need the Federal Government to take over enforcing the ban.", Bloomberg stated. "The ATF should be assigned to enforce the law.", he added.
The new department would be called the Bureau of Federal Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms und Karbonated Soda (FATFUKS).