Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 July 2013

image for Sperm Whale Spotted In Lake Erie
A photo of Lake Erie taken by newlyweds Wexford and Kylee Tina Spillovich.

CLEVELAND - In an astounding sighting, several people sailing on Lake Erie have reported seeing a sperm whale in the freshwater lake.

One of the individuals, Wexford Spillovich, 48, said that he and his brand new bride Kylee Tina, 43, were sailing on their brand new sailboat which was a wedding gift from his rich father-in-law when they saw a water spout.

As they got closer Wexford was able to see a blowhole from a sperm whale. He knew right away that it was a sperm whale because he studied marine biology at Left Coast College in Carpinteria, California.

Other people who were also sailing on Lake Erie saw the huge whale. One individual called 911 and was told not to be calling the emergency number about sperm donors. He quickly corrected the operator and said that it was a sperm whale and not a sperm donor.

The operator who is known for her sarcasm replied that she did not care if it was a sperm donor or a sperm whale the 911 number should not be called for frivolous matters.

Cleveland's chapter of PETA has put out a directive stating that if the sperm whale is hurt in any way, shape, or form, the person or persons involved will be arrested and held on a $400,000 bond.

SIDENOTE: Local marine biologists have said that they think that the sperm whale most probably belongs to Sea World of San Antonio and they hope to take DNA samples to verify the claim.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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