Written by Spicewood
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Topics: White House, bedbugs

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

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Executive Housekeeper at the White House, Christine Limerick, in a recent interview with Rolling Rock, takeoff on Rolling Stone, only, as Harvey Bellichant, publisher states, "We're just smaller, ha, ha, you see, stone, rock," revealed that one reason the Obamas recently took an extended trip to Africa was due to the discovery of a bedbug infestation in their bedrooms.

She indicated that they were not sure who was responsible for introducing them, or how long they had actually been infesting the White House. She did indicate, however, that the general opinion circulating around the building was that they had infested the Lincoln Bedroom on the second floor. Feelings were that Lincoln had brought in "wood ticks" while chopping firewood, and that they had eventually invited bed bugs to spend a night in the "Lincoln Bed," and they had decided to stay.

Or, perhaps, during the Truman administration, much refurbishing was completed, and, as a show of his austerity, many of the furnishings were purchased at the Washington Salvation Army Thrift Store.

Exterminators, from Bugs R Us, in trucks disguised as NSA Information Retrieval Trucks, which are commonly seen backing in to the White House, painstakingly went from room to room, with heretofore, recently developed, secret listening devices that could detect the footsteps of the crawling little parasitic insects, Cimex lectularius, as they headed to subminiature traps that were placed there the night before, by Secret Service agents. Some beds were laced with small "bugmines" which could be heard making little explosions throughout the night.

The operation was labeled as BUGBEGONE as it was listed on all of the overtime slips received by the Pay Office located in the basement of the White House. A small flag was flown on the White House lawn, upside down, to signal the "all clear" to the Obamas and their 35 car entourage upon their arrival at the White House.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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