Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Friday, 5 July 2013

image for Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin
Fell Off The Wall

New York, NY-- One of the most well-known eggs in history is finally back in one piece. Scientists have reconstructed the legendary Humpty Dumpty by using 21st Century technology--and marijuana. The famed egg is now back on his wall, listening to music and stoned out of his mind.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall sometime during the 1800's. All the king's horses and all the king's men could not put the poor egg back together again. They didn't have the technology, according to project director Egbert Kingsman.

"They simply didn't have the ability--we do." said Mr. Kingsman. "Plus, we have much potent weed than ever before."

Mr. Kingsman explained that all of the 420 pieces of Humpty Dumpty were collected, numbered and then scanned into a computer. The computer then created a three-dimensional image of the odd ovum.

"We reconstructed him and glued his broken fragments together with a sticky resin made from hemp weed. Humpty Dumpty became conscious right away, although he was very stoned." said Mr. Kingsman.

Now, the great egg has returned to his wall. There's not too much the giant egg does during the day, except dangle his tiny legs and listen to his Ipod.

Humpty Dumpty has an old song by the Beatles on his Ipod that he especially likes to sing along with:

"I am the egg man,
They are the egg men,
I am the walrus,
Coo coo cachoo!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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